Gigtarpliphom Artdapyokflabingyakquimkam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, dishonourable gnu.

Gigtarpliphom Artdapyokflabingyakquimkam created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigtarpliphom Artdapyokflabingyakquimkam, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gigtarpliphom Artdapyokflabingyakquimkam, he will have a low opinion of you.

Gigtarpliphom Artdapyokflabingyakquimkam's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gigtarpliphom Artdapyokflabingyakquimkam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat moths with great respect.

2. Worship no other gods but Gigtarpliphom Artdapyokflabingyakquimkam.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Hide if three otters approach from the north.

5. Run away from fawn nematodes, for they are unholy.