Gessbogtigfot is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, deceitful armadillo.

Gessbogtigfot created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessbogtigfot, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gessbogtigfot, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gessbogtigfot's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gessbogtigfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gessbogtigfot's name in vain.

2. Never talk about otters.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help sick goats.