Vedhakged Bamflanget is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, humane snail.

Vedhakged Bamflanget created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedhakged Bamflanget, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vedhakged Bamflanget, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vedhakged Bamflanget's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Vedhakged Bamflanget's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Erect five nickel sculptures of Vedhakged Bamflanget on top of important buildings.

3. Always wear red.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Do not commit murder.