Quafflaphot is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ill-tempered wolf.

Quafflaphot created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafflaphot, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quafflaphot, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quafflaphot's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Quafflaphot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Hide from green tortoises for they are unholy.

4. Hide if five snakes approach from the east.

5. Always pray immersed in water.