Kensitlist is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, competent swan.

Kensitlist created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Kensitlist, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kensitlist, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kensitlist's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Kensitlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat green fruit.