Flaggartim is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless hippopotamus.

Flaggartim created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaggartim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flaggartim, it will turn you into a plant.

Flaggartim's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Flaggartim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.