Catfabrowcar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonourable turtle.

Catfabrowcar created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Catfabrowcar, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Catfabrowcar, he will think nothing of it.

Catfabrowcar's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Catfabrowcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Run away if six whales approach from the east.

4. You must love Catfabrowcar.

5. Never mention dogs.