Nartingdap Kapgarsis is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful raccoon.

Nartingdap Kapgarsis created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartingdap Kapgarsis, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Nartingdap Kapgarsis, it will think nothing of it.

Nartingdap Kapgarsis' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Nartingdap Kapgarsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nartingdap Kapgarsis.

3. Hide if nine badgers approach from the north.

4. Worship no other gods but Nartingdap Kapgarsis.

5. Do not listen to music.