Ortmitquill is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awesome frog.

Ortmitquill created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortmitquill, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ortmitquill, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Ortmitquill's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Ortmitquill's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Ortmitquill.

2. Always obey Ortmitquill's priests.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.