Dutsaktapnarsabbagbettan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited dingo.

Dutsaktapnarsabbagbettan created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dutsaktapnarsabbagbettan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dutsaktapnarsabbagbettan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Dutsaktapnarsabbagbettan's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Dutsaktapnarsabbagbettan's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never sit near capybaras.

5. Do not make images of living things.