Hotwonnigratyog is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omniscient slug.

Hotwonnigratyog created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotwonnigratyog, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hotwonnigratyog, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Hotwonnigratyog's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Hotwonnigratyog's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Hotwonnigratyog loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away if six gulls approach from the east.

5. Always wear indigo.