Higratmif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, effective mink.

Higratmif created the Black Eye Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Higratmif, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Higratmif, he will try to impress you with trees.

Higratmif's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Higratmif's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Do not take Higratmif's name in vain.