Hadbastkop is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy crocodile.

Hadbastkop created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadbastkop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hadbastkop, he will turn you into a mouse.

Hadbastkop's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Hadbastkop's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never jump in the presence of dolphins.

4. Hadbastkop loves horses, so they must be respected.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.