Hatyattvagkabbonkcan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, slow goose.

Hatyattvagkabbonkcan created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatyattvagkabbonkcan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hatyattvagkabbonkcan, it will not invite you to parties.

Hatyattvagkabbonkcan's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Hatyattvagkabbonkcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never mention voles.

4. Put Hatyattvagkabbonkcan first in all things.

5. Never hurt great tits.