Mumlidbast is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, passionate cow.

Mumlidbast created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumlidbast, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mumlidbast, she will remove you from existence.

Mumlidbast's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Mumlidbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Mumlidbast loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

3. Run away if six mites approach from the north.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mumlidbast.

5. You must love Mumlidbast.