Japfenkan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful dragon.

Japfenkan created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Japfenkan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Japfenkan, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Japfenkan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Japfenkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near eagles.

2. Never bounce in the presence of tortoises.

3. Run away if six great tits approach from the west.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.