Fatxucbep is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, irritating lion.

Fatxucbep created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Fatxucbep, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fatxucbep, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fatxucbep's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fatxucbep's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine geese approach from the north.

2. Always help ducks in need.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.