Fitapp is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless mink.

Fitapp created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitapp, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fitapp, he will torture you forever.

Fitapp's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Fitapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Fitapp's priests.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always help sick turtles.