Bemnulkad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, prudent toad.

Bemnulkad created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemnulkad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemnulkad, he will not care.

Bemnulkad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bemnulkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Erect five gold sculptures of Bemnulkad on top of important buildings.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.