Natomtbig Ladmig is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, conceited squirrel.

Natomtbig Ladmig created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Natomtbig Ladmig, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Natomtbig Ladmig, he will manifest in front of you.

Natomtbig Ladmig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Natomtbig Ladmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Natomtbig Ladmig loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

5. Never laugh in holy places.