Tonquimgan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty troll.

Tonquimgan created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonquimgan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tonquimgan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tonquimgan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tonquimgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Run away from red hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if three dogs approach from the east.

5. Never look at planets.