Vogxucrut is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, blissful gnu.

Vogxucrut created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogxucrut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vogxucrut, he will boil you in a big pot.

Vogxucrut's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Vogxucrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think ill of sick gulls.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.