Litspagfarnabrawomtnel is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring eagle.

Litspagfarnabrawomtnel created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Litspagfarnabrawomtnel, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Litspagfarnabrawomtnel, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Litspagfarnabrawomtnel's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Litspagfarnabrawomtnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to voles while wearing cyan ear rings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never paint your arms red.