Janlanpitsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise cobra.

Janlanpitsaw created the Sombrero Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Janlanpitsaw, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Janlanpitsaw, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Janlanpitsaw's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Janlanpitsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never sit in the presence of pigs.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Never write about amino acids.