Tigpashen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, staggering spider.

Tigpashen created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigpashen, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tigpashen, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tigpashen's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tigpashen's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tigpashen.

2. You must never eat rice.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

4. Always treat pigs with great respect.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.