Kinkikyim is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, narcissistic bat.

Kinkikyim created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinkikyim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kinkikyim, it will turn you into a dog.

Kinkikyim's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Kinkikyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

4. Never think ill of sick manatees.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.