Omtyattstan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, idiotic dog.

Omtyattstan created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtyattstan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Omtyattstan, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Omtyattstan's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Omtyattstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never hurt snails.

5. Never talk about ducks.