Doghaphiv is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omniscient goblin.

Doghaphiv created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Doghaphiv, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Doghaphiv, it will turn you into a frog.

Doghaphiv's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Doghaphiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about fire.