Kabcarpad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthinking bat.

Kabcarpad created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabcarpad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kabcarpad, he will refuse to believe in you.

Kabcarpad's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Kabcarpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.