Vindavham is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fussy rhinoceros.

Vindavham created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vindavham, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vindavham, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Vindavham's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Vindavham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Vindavham on top of important buildings.

4. Always obey Vindavham's priests.

5. Do not drink alcohol.