Fagjarnvab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, staggering duck.

Fagjarnvab created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagjarnvab, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fagjarnvab, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fagjarnvab's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Fagjarnvab's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Worship no other gods but Fagjarnvab.

5. Always help foxes in need.