Pincampas is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthoughtful capybara.

Pincampas created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Pincampas, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pincampas, she will turn you into a worm.

Pincampas' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Pincampas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pincampas.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.