Vilmadbabhap is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unselfish meerkat.

Vilmadbabhap created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilmadbabhap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vilmadbabhap, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vilmadbabhap's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Vilmadbabhap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not take Vilmadbabhap's name in vain.