Gonpasquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous chinchilla.

Gonpasquaf created a strange quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonpasquaf, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gonpasquaf, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gonpasquaf's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gonpasquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never sing in the presence of nematodes.

4. Worship no other gods but Gonpasquaf.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.