Gemflapvog is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable snail.

Gemflapvog created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemflapvog, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gemflapvog, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gemflapvog's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gemflapvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Retreat if eight porpoises approach from the east.

5. Always help shrews.