Yamtettiwee is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unsympathetic rat.

Yamtettiwee created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yamtettiwee, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Yamtettiwee, it will boil you in a big pot.

Yamtettiwee's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Yamtettiwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

2. Never feed limes to rats while wearing pink hats.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.