Logsatxem Rutfethab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciless hydra.

Logsatxem Rutfethab created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Logsatxem Rutfethab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Logsatxem Rutfethab, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Logsatxem Rutfethab's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Logsatxem Rutfethab's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. You must pray to Logsatxem Rutfethab five times a day.