Stafyarpapp is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, blissful bat.

Stafyarpapp created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafyarpapp, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafyarpapp, she will destroy your home planet.

Stafyarpapp's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Stafyarpapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Stafyarpapp.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always help sick eagles.