Gessrowsit is a god.

She takes the form of a small, happy aardvark.

Gessrowsit created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessrowsit, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gessrowsit, she will cry a lot.

Gessrowsit's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gessrowsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Run away from green dogs, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Hide if seven frogs approach from the south.