Getcimwat is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, omnipotent lobster.

Getcimwat created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getcimwat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Getcimwat, it will turn you into a puffin.

Getcimwat's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Getcimwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never play with disobedient children.