Yogstiktap Wotbaflog is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, narcissistic jackal.

Yogstiktap Wotbaflog created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogstiktap Wotbaflog, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yogstiktap Wotbaflog, she will ignore you.

Yogstiktap Wotbaflog's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Yogstiktap Wotbaflog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink alcohol.