Zogarnbog Sadstikcum is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, happy fairy.

Zogarnbog Sadstikcum created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogarnbog Sadstikcum, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zogarnbog Sadstikcum, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Zogarnbog Sadstikcum's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Zogarnbog Sadstikcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never go into purple rooms.