Nartappstik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, generous mongoose.

Nartappstik created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Nartappstik, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nartappstik, he will have a low opinion of you.

Nartappstik's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Nartappstik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nartappstik seven times a day.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.