Tenstigcen is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous cobra.

Tenstigcen created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenstigcen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tenstigcen, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tenstigcen's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tenstigcen's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not take Tenstigcen's name in vain.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Always obey Tenstigcen's priests.