Gadwotsawdan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic salamander.

Gadwotsawdan created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadwotsawdan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gadwotsawdan, she will come to you in dreams.

Gadwotsawdan's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gadwotsawdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. Put Gadwotsawdan first in all things.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

5. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.