Fetpaslid Bamlabnull is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unjust bat.

Fetpaslid Bamlabnull created vertebrates three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetpaslid Bamlabnull, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fetpaslid Bamlabnull, he will turn you into a dog.

Fetpaslid Bamlabnull's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Fetpaslid Bamlabnull's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

2. Always obey Fetpaslid Bamlabnull's priests.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never play with disobedient children.