Gemstantab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, merciful lion.

Gemstantab created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Gemstantab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gemstantab, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gemstantab's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gemstantab's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.