Yarlcunfot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, smart goat.

Yarlcunfot created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Yarlcunfot, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarlcunfot, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yarlcunfot's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yarlcunfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Never eat aubergines.

4. Never paint your feet turquoise.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.