Wongemmot is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, annoying crab.

Wongemmot created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wongemmot, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wongemmot, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Wongemmot's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Wongemmot's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Put Wongemmot first in all things.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not cook food in pots.