Vabjencun is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, tiresome hamster.

Vabjencun created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabjencun, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vabjencun, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vabjencun's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Vabjencun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Retreat if six seals approach from the south.

4. Never feed garlic to goats while wearing cyan skirts.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.